Starting to Feel Real

Today, I met with my academic advisor for graduate school. I walked in not knowing what my semester should look like or what to do/how to do it (a lot has changed since my undergraduate days) and I left wanting to take every class and do everything. In just over a month (okay, a month and 3 days) I will be attending orientation and start building professional relationships with my peers. I'm excited, I'm nervous, and if I was a dog, I would be peeing on the floor uncontrollably. The wonderful thing about my program is that the classes are all (except for one 9am class, hell no) evening, starting at 4:10 and 7, once a week, so I can (hopefully) still work full time. I just need to find a job (fingers crossed, I have an interview Thursday for a job that I think I can work with my potential school schedule). I'm trying to keep my trips to Portland  to 2 or at most 3 a week because it took just under a tank of gas round trip today, and that will be expensive.

I'm starting to feel optimistic. I'm trying not to let pessimism overcome the optimism. On Friday, when I found out my unemployment claim was denied, I cried into the lake and wondered why I try at all. It's been disheartening, to say the least. Of over 10 jobs I've applied to between Friday and Monday, I got one response. I need this job, even if it's only part time. If I can get that, I may be able to swing survival during school if I use that and student loan run-over.